Love is Bloody Cigarette

Staying alone in country like India and on top of it in city like Mumbai has its own advantage for people who start thinking on weird stuff when they don’t have anything productive to do. Fortunately or unfortunately I categorize myself in that category. Shining sun started warning all Mumbaikars (that’s what we call people who stay in Mumbai like New Yorker’s) about summer arrival. On one Sunday afternoon after my normal chores I was feeling extremely bored. Even my laptop was not able to help me to uplift my mood. That was the time when one weird thought popped up inside my little lazy mind. And to think about it I realized this was the best and interesting thought in months and I can certainly brainstorm it further (brainstorm sounds too cliché if you are in IT industry……trust me even I dislike usage of this word). I know you guys must be thinking what is it the thought I am talking about so patience my dear “no readers”.

I am little confused soul when it comes to love. Listening to love stories is quite boring (and let me admit here sometimes they dramatize it so much that I feel jealousJ) Well that’s not the point. Point is every person seems to be so much in love but eventually everyone becomes neutral about their feelings (one of my friend told me nothing is permanent, even your feeling) So while so many love stories were wrestling in my tiny winy head that out of frustration my mind shouted loudly that “Love is Bloody Cigarette” and to think about it I was like yeah sure it is the perfect comparison!!!

As we all know we smoke even though we know it is slow poison and we will end up in hospital fighting with cancer, but we love to smoke or can I say we can not quit (without patch, exceptions ruled out right now). Same happens with Love. Love is slow and steady poison (it is actually worst than cigarette. At least when you are fighting for survival of your lungs you know it is because of smoking but love plays so smartly that one never blames love for anything). Cigarette gives you pleasure till the time you have that lighted stick in your mouth and Love gives you worldly pleasure till the time you are with someone. Once you get addicted to smoking you are capable of only changing the brand of the stick (exactly as in love, when addicted to being love you can change partner to re-discover pleasure…that’s love addiction). I know there are exceptions in both the cases but even those are mirror images. We quit smoking because we are determined to do that and our freeing ourselves from all worldly things indicates we are quitting being loved and loving someone. You might ask how I can say this and why I am saying this. I have answer for this too :) Person quits worldly desires when they realize that nothing is constant and at the end nothing matters. Everything is just an illusion J

They say passive smoking kills. Exactly the case with love too!!! Passive Lovers dies quickly compared to Active Lovers (hey don’t think corrupt. Passive Lovers equals to people who are in one sided relationships and people who are not in love at all and Active Lovers equals to Love addicts). But at the end what matters is you are happy.

Verdict: “Love is Bloody Cigarette” in every form. But at the end what matters is whether you are happy or not. So if being any of these (Active Smoker or Passive Smoker or Active Lover or Passive Lover) makes you happy then I will say keep Smoking OR Keep Loveing (tried to sound and write similar to Smoking)

Feeling

I was always confused with this word. One word is responsible for all the complications in the world. When Love, Lust, Jealousy, Anger, Hate, Care, Passion ……..stay in one room then surely that room will always be on fire. Extreme of any one of the feeling can burn human so badly that to trace back the person will be difficult. You might say but feeling love, care (Any positive feelings) for someone to the extreme is not bad. On the contrary I will say it is more destructive than nurturing extreme of any negative feelings in side you. Extremely positive feelings are like slow poison for us, it attacks our moral so steadily that we never blame it on those feelings. Impact or affect are extremely slow and society reaction is always mild. Whereas extreme negative feelings are fast and everyone knows whom to blame for our destruction. Confused? Well you don’t have to. Let me try to give you example. Let’s say I am in love with someone. When it started it was slow, I enjoyed the experience in being in love, had fun exploring all the colors in rainbow but as my feeling of love grows I started changing internally. Love made me become extremely possessive, love brought tremendous insecurities and when possessiveness and insecurities make your body their home then you be sure that you will indulge yourself in all the matters which are extremely bad for you. Since I became insecure I started doubting every incidence, insecurity made me illogical (though I feel love makes you illogical too) and impractical. I started acting life as a life guard whereas what all I needed was to be hippie. The more love grows the more I kill myself (by this I mean my individuality). A very decent person can turn into monster if he loves somebody to the extreme. Now the other person might reciprocate his feeling or might not. In both the cases persons turning monster is sure. That’s why I said word “Feeling” confuse me. One needs to decide how they will handle “Feeling” which are developing inside them. Be aware if you let them loose they will take you under their control and if this happens you can be sure of your downfall.

Verdict: Feel every single thing happening inside you but don’t over feel it. Just the way balance diet can keep your body healthy balance feelings can keep your soul happy.

Unsolved Questions?

I was sitting and lazing around when suddenly a question popped up in my mind. What does one get in being one sided love? Surely he/she can’t get love back. Then what is it? Is it being in love which makes them continue with the feeling or is it just that they are scared to explore any further? And more important is it possible to get into relationship where both have same feeling for each other and for how long? Feeling might change for each other then what will happen? I know I should not be talking about love but mind is mind it might want to explore untouched territory. Well I am not sure about love or feelings. But as I have mentioned in one of my earlier blog there is nothing wrong in being in one sided love if you are feeling happiness. That’s correct but what are the chances of you feeling happiness all the time? Won’t you feel frustrated or irritated after some time? We are humans we are bound to expect. So don’t you think one day your soul will ask for returns? So even if being in such relationship is taking you to peak of happiness but standing at that peak @ lifetime is not possible without being with someone. How long can you last with ZERO expectations? We being such a normal human being we do nurture expectations in our mind and heart. These are some of the unanswered questions in my mind. I will need to think a lot on this so that I come to conclusion.

Verdict: Thinking ………………………………